The B-50 Blues

I took a Combo B (B-50) vitamin yesterday and today, and started my multi vitamin again. Today I am feeling much, much better. The girls and I put went to bed pretty early last night and when I woke up this morning I got up, I didn't try to catch a few more minutes of sleep. I avoided caffeine last night and I think that's going to be an ongoing decision. I slept well, and I'm getting things done today. Maybe I fixed the problem, time will tell.

Today is trash day in our neighborhood, and I arranged a (free) big item pick up. I got rid of a desk that had been taking up space as well as one of the girls outside toys. It was sad to see the toy go, but they had played it to death over the last two years and when I tried to put it together in the yard this year it would not stay together. They definitely got a good amount of use out of it.

Operation Spare Room clean out is now entering phase 2. I have gotten all of the trash out and am now ready to do a second run at organization. I need to pull everything out of the spare closet and make some tough decisions about what to keep and what to pitch. I'm pretty sure that I will have more trash once I work the organization out. I would like to purchase a bed for that room this summer and be able to make it into a guestroom type thing.  

I'm baking today for the Flea Market tomorrow. I'm trying to drum up some local business for my baked goods. I'm doing muffins, brownies and cookie pops. If I have time I might make a pan of mini pies using the rest of the pears and Gorgonzola I've got left. I'm planning on donating some of the bake sale cash to my mud run fund. I'd like to get up to 200.00 worth of donations. I'm about 65 dollars short right now. I'll get there by next week.

My windows are open and fresh air is streaming through my house. I'm also sneezing like a lunatic but clearing out the stale air is so worth it. I hope everyone has a great weekend. I'm counting down. The next two will be busy as hell but after that I'll be able to sleep in again and maybe go and visit my grandparents for a weekend.

Sick and Tired

Me, for serious.

...of being so damned tired. It seems like this bone-weary exhaustion is not going to lift any time soon. It's going on about a week now, and not for lack of trying to get rest. This is exhausted on an average of 8 hours of sleep a night. It's hard to get my ass up off the couch, bed, hell I spent a hour laying on the floor the other day (the munches were freakin') and while I've been trying to stay on track it's been really difficult. I'd call this a depression except I'm not down or sad, I'm just really, really tired. Nothing sounds good to eat, but I'm hungry all the time. It sort of feels like the day after you get over a stomach bug when you just feel weak and sleepy.

 Last night I forced myself to get up and clean the kitchen; it was hard and my head was pounding the whole time. But I got every dish done and I put them all away. I was happy about it this morning, but not happy the way you'd think more like a 'oh, good' happy then and 'Awesome!' happy.

In an effort to combat the ant-y bastards that are invading my house I've been cleaning the counters with 409 and then spraying bleach water to keep the little buggers from finding the kitchen. They seem to be dwindling thanks to the spray and little trap things we have put down. A huge issue with spraying is that we do the outside of the house too however every time we spray it rains, I imagine that washes away the majority of the poison and lets them right on through.

I've already gotten half of my fluids in for the day in the form of a giant skinny coffee, and diet soda. I'm sticking to water the rest of the day but I figured the caffeine jump start might help and I've also taken a B vitamin at the suggestion of my nurse friend. She says that if I am not getting enough this might help my energy and if I am getting enough it will just flush right through. Internet research validates this and so I'm giving it a try. I need to do something, if this doesn't resolve soon I'll be heading back to the Doc, it's about time to have my blood work done again anyway. It's been about 4 months since the last time my thyroid levels were checked. But this doesn't feel like it did the last time, I don't have the over heating, mood swings, or heart racing. I do have the issues with focus, but those never really go away.  I think I may have a touch of ADD, and I've been able to put some processes in place to help me overcome that.

Run, Don't Walk

I feel like I'm living in a bad 60's horror movie. My house is being overrun by ants, mostly in the laundry room and the office, you'd think they'd pick the kitchen, go figure.We've bought various bug killing apparatus and hopefully this will stop being an issue in the next day or two.

I went to Zumba last night, there was a new instructor and she was very repetitive, more so then I am used to dealing with. It was fun, but we did this Bollywood number that turned my biceps into jello. Afterward my friend Erin came over to the house and we had dinner and then colored eggs with the munches. Today I am going to make egg salad out of the eggs, I use ranch dressing mix and light sour cream instead of mayo for my egg salad, it's sooooo good and I hate mayo and Miracle whip. Jeeves digs it, a lot.

Tonight there is a fund raiser for work at a local eatery. Kids nosh for free and there will probably be a balloon artist there, the Munches love that. I am going to find something good and stay on track, I'm even ordering water instead of a diet soda. Plus I ate really well today, Hummus and carrots for lunch and a skinny latte for breakfast.  It's been a trying day but I did find out what's wrong with my new van and it's a quick, easy and most importantly cheap fix, thank you Jesus.

The seedlings have begun to break out of the peat cups and need to be transferred to bigger pots. I'm facing the hard choice of deciding which one's will be planted and which should be discarded. I really need to get the tiller and make the yard garden ready but I'm just so dratted busy for the next week, they plant-lings are just going to have to wait. I'm super excited about the veggies that will come from the garden. It's nerdy, but I am going to love doing this. It will save us some cash this summer. I put in some cucumber seeds this week because I want to make homemade pickles, no high fructose corn syrup in those babies just 100% pickles.

Epic Cuteness & Then and Now.

Pumpkin, Livvie, Booger and the Bean.

Booger only held him for about a minute and a half and then she said, "Mommy, this baby is too heavy!" So freaking cute. But this next one is my favorite.

Pumpkin really only smiles like this when she is super happy, and we rarely catch it on camera. She got to hold him before anyone and it just made her day. She and Booger have been talking about the baby that came out of "Aunt Bwit's tummy" all week and when my bro's family got to the house my sister-in-law brought the baby over and introduced him to the Munches first. The Munches were amazed and awed by the tiny little man. It was so sweet they just fell in love with him and both wanted to hold him. Booger kept touching his head very lightly and saying "he's my family" OMG! SO CUTE!

The candy consumption of the part of the Munches was remarkable. They only get two days a year when they are allowed to go crazy like this, Easter and Halloween. They chowed down on candy and baked treats for the whole day and they had been up since 7 am. So at about 9 they finally crashed. This is them, just undies and a blanket, candy coma-ed out on the couch.

 I put nighttime diapers on them and transferred them to bed without them stirring at all.  They were still asleep when I left for work this morning.

I have been searching for a better picture of me to compare this too, But Easter last year is the time right before I began my change. So here's me last Easter, not a full body photo but still good enough to compare with.

Easter 2011

Today 

In size 12 pants and a Large shirt.

GORGONZOLA!!!

I made a pie today. It's epic, and I took a bite to ensure it's not odious and believe me, it's not.

It's a pear pie with a home made, whole wheat crust made with Gorgonzola cheese. I made it with splenda so there's no added sugar and Jeeves practically kissed my feet when I gave him a bite of it. I made it to share with my family foodies tomorrow. They are my judging panel and very picky, so I know if they like it, it's gotta be good. I've worked out the calories and for 1/12 of this pie, which is not a tiny piece, but not too much either, it's around 300 calories. I tell you what, I would run a mile and a half for a piece of this, no question.

Turns out I don't have to "become" a pie maker, I sort of already am one. This was done sans recipe with only my knowledge of how ingredients work in the oven and the fact that pears go well with tart cheese. I am so proud of this. It gelled well and when I cut a piece for Jeeves it held it's shape, it didn't goo out into the pan. Pie Accomplished! Next Challenge: Cheesecake.

Yoipes and Away!

Last night before heading off to work Jeeves started a video for the munches to watch so I could get few things done. I came into the room after de-flooding the bathroom and found them watching a Merry Melodies Cartoon montage that had been a favorite of My brother Felix and I since we were very young. After scaring the munches with my hoots of glee, I text-ed a line from the cartoon to Felix who was over at Mutti's house. He apparently had a short laugh induced coma and then we went back and forth for awhile. I love that guy.

I found the clip that had me giggling last night and thought I'd share, I tried to embed it but it wouldn't let me so, Follow this link.

Allan sort of called me out for not following the plan last night. No hard feelings Allan, sometimes you make me cry a little, but whatever. I like Allan, I like his attitude toward weight loss, his dedication to his goal and his tendency to, erm..."overshare". I enjoy reading his posts, even the one's that seem a little harsh to me. It's his blog and he can say what he wants, he doesn't need my permission(or anybody's for that matter) He often says that you don't have to follow "his plan" but you have to have "a plan." He doesn't like the slow and steady plan (I do), he is in a headlong sprint toward his goal (I'm not). In a recent post Allan said his plan is the best, and it is; his plan is the Eat Less Crap and Move More Plan. Which is what I'm doing. I guess that's my point, the important things are there.

Tonight I am doing a chicken and braised zucchini stir fry with carrots, cabbage and brown rice for dinner. It's a favorite and it usually stretches to two meals for us. I have been asked to submit a few more recipes and articles for the magazine. So the munches and I are baking tonight, Sugar cookies for sunday and a pie for the magazine. I am going to experiment with some Gorgonzola cheese in my pie crust and make a pear cinnamon filling with tons of vanilla...oh great, now I'm drooling.

If you want to be someone else, change your mind.

I jumped on scale post-potty this morning and 175 stared up at me from the floor. A mere 15 pounds now lurk between me and my goal. I did a little happy dance, kissed Jeeves and finished getting ready for work. Then as I was blow drying my hair a bit of existentialism snuck into my brain.

I starting thinking about a year ago, when this all began. I was not paying attention to what I was eating and when. I did not have much in the way of intentional movement and I hadn't been on a scale in well over a year. Today when I got on the scale I was thinking about how much water I drank yesterday and whether the extra serving of carrots and hummus was going to bite me in the ass (and hang on adding a few extra ounces.) When I was fat I didn't think about how quickly I was gaining. I didn't pay attention to how much cheese I added to things, knowing that a serving is okay but a handful is not. I didn't jump on the scale and say, "Wow, that donut didn't do as much damage as it should have." I never obsessed over a pound lost or gained the way I do now.

In a way I miss the clueless-ness. I miss the blissful ignorance of not realizing (read: caring) what shitty food does to my body. I miss not keeping a running calorie total in my head each day. I miss being offered a dessert and just saying yes if it looked good.

I'd love to say that I hated my body when I was fat and felt awful, but I don't believe I did. I will say this though, the indifference I had toward my body has changed to pride in what it can do. My thought processes have changed with regard to so many things since starting this journey. I don't believe I will ever go back to the way things were. Those could be hollow words, I'm sure everyone who has lost a lot has uttered similar sentiments. Time will tell and life will test me I'm sure. It's never a good time to decide to lose weight, it's always hard and it always sucks for at least awhile, but I've been blessed that I've not had any major trauma or drama in my life during this period.

When I was in high school (10 years ago) there was a Sister Hazel song on the radio, it struck a chord with me then (as much as a chord can be struck with a privileged girl who never really had to go without anything) and in many ways it still does. You can find the lyrics here, and here's a you tube video. It's where the title of the post came from and it's a good message for me and my dieting friends.

If you want to be somebody else,
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind.

Zucchini Pasta w/ Poached Eggs and Asparagus.- on Nellie's Cook Book

These are my uber-yummy pies from last night.
Now I have a new mission, be an excellent pie maker as well as a cookie and cake baker. I'm going to conquer the pastry arts one dessert at a time.

My Cherry Pie

I ended up at Mom's last night becuase of the crazy weather (tornadoes and hail don't mix well with mobile homes) so I didn't get to the gym, damn.

I intended on going to Piyo this morning but Jeeve's ended up working late (he got home 5 minutes after the class started), so that plan went down the toilet.

Today I worked from home so I could work on my house and make some cherry pies. I made cherry pies for the friend of my father's wife who is working on my kitchen. I may have mentioned that Mutti is moving at the end of May and she does not have room in her new kitchen for her uber-cool, really huge fridge. So I'm getting it, cause she loves me. Problem is that my cabinets are too low, so I'm having them taken down. The guy was so cool, said it wouldn't be much work and that if I'd bake him a cherry pie he'd do it for free. Hot Damn!

Lie: I told the guy I had made cherry pies before.
Truth: I've never made a cherry pie in my life.
Fact: These pies look and smell so damned good that even though I don't really love cherry pie, I kind of want to eat a big piece out of them before he gets here and blame it on my kids.(no worries, I'm going to be strong, beside there are strawberries in my fridge, and I'd much rather eat those.)

I made the crust and filling from scratch, and it turned out beautifully. I made the poached egg and zucchini dish again today and did get a picture. I'll upload it and the recipe I used to the recipe blog tomorrow along with a picture of the pie. So far it's been a weird day, but a good one.

Zumba and Pictures

I got back to Zumba class last night and it was alright. It was very crowded and I had a hard time following the instructor because I couldn't see her and she did some things I'd never done before. I'm going to run tonight, I'm going to try to do 4 miles and get it done in about an hour. I have been wearing in my boots for the mud run and I think I'm going to take them and run in them at the gym today.

I have plans to go to Piyo tomorrow morning, I'm going to try to get at least an hour of workout in everyday until the mud run. It's in 17 days, It's amazing that I've been focused on it for so long and yet it seems to be sneaking up on me.

I am not giving details but we had a new addition to the family last night and I wanted to share a few photos by way of a before and after demonstration.
This is me on October 2nd, 2009.


This is me on April 19th, 2011 (18months later)

Yeah, yeah, I know; really really bad hair. The difference in not just my face, but my whole body keeps suprising me.

Pfffffbbbbttttt!

My little munch learned what rasberries "mean" and for the last three days she has been using them to display irritation, and in place of the word no. This shit ain't cool, I can't have her doing this in public, imagine the looks I'll get. Gah!

Jeeves and I were blessed to be awake for about 2 hours before the munches this morning. Some highjinks ensued and now...I have a hickey (a few actually but only one that will need covering). Lord, how old am I?  I don't typically wear makeup, so I don't have anything to cover it up with. I also don't own any turtle necks, gotta work something out for work tomorrow, cause it's pretty obvious and I work in an office with my pseudo-mother in law, and four women who are friends of Mutti's and who have known me since I was 14. Gah! (yeah, again)

I left my camera cord at work so I won't be able to post cake and cookie pics until tomorrow sometime. Classes are over (yesssss) and I've been asked back for the fall (Woot!) but I have to wait two weeks for my bonus. It's not awful to spend 5 saturday mornings talking with people who want to listen to what you have to say. (the 25 dollars an hour doesn't suck either)

In news about other crap: I'm going to be a published writer. A small magazine in Illinois was looking for contributions and I emailed a few articles I had prepared for such things. They liked both of them and will be publishing them in thier first issue! I don't think it's going to be lucrative but since being a writer is what I've always wanted, I am pretty stoked. Once the website associated with the magazine gets up and running I'll post a link and you can check it out.

Still craving strawberries and carrots; and eating them like mad. If not for the hommade hummus (sans olive oil to cut the calories) I dip my carrots in I wouldn't be getting much protien at all, Although, both the dishes I did this weekend turned out beautifully. I did not get any photos of the (zuchinni)pasta dish with eggs and aspargus because I was starving and it looked to good to wait. Turns out I was right(ZOMG-drool). I took pictures of the chicken breast with wilted spinach and tomatoes. I'll post the photo and recipe on the CookBook blog tomorrow. Jeeves hates tomatoes and he even loved this. It was super easy and remarkably delicious.