Toddler + Pregnancy = Problems

I'm baking a tiny, and I have a little dude. This translates into a few situations that I didn't remember from 5 years ago when I was last pregnant and had a toddler in the house.

First: Doodle does not understand that mommy is a gestating monster and sometimes the hormonal strain on my psyche cause me to want NO ONE TO TOUCH ME EVAR!!!!!. He loves me and wants the assurance of being able to run up get a quick snuggle and then make tracks toward his sisters' room because they've left the door open again. I'm trying to keep it together but there have been a few times when I've totally hid in the laundry room listening to the rumble of his tiny feet as he searches the house for me. And then, and then, when he puts his sharp little elbows of death in my abdomen I almost hurl. He is getting more and more emotionally injured every time I have to more his arms/elbows/knees/feet quickly away from the developing fetus in my midsection. I can see the despair on his face, "Mommy, why don't you love me?"

Second: Toddlers cannot feed themselves. My girls are old enough that occasionally Pumpkin has learned to use the microwave with some shouted instructions. She can nuke leftovers, mac and cheese and hot dogs for her self and Sunshine when I'm not in the "sure I'll play short order cook...what do you mean you want lasagna?" mood. Doodle just lays on the floor and cries until I figure out that hungry is the problem and have to get up and make food because he's little and all of his calories matter, and I can't in good conscience feed the kid snack packs for breakfast and lunch, that would be wrong.

Third: Carrying around a toddler is hard on your back when you aren't fighting the center of gravity problems that come along with pregnancy. Toddlers get heavy after a few minutes and it's easy to turn wrong, bend funny or just move too quickly and then you try not to drop the little dude while you also try to catch yourself to keep from crumpling to the floor in a sciatica induced daze of pain. Also, he cannot walk to the car independently yet, so sometimes just getting out of the house is a trial. I vaguely remember having a little trouble with this when Pumpkin was tiny, but I didn't start having "help! I've just been shot in the ass!" pain until about three weeks before Sunshine came along, so it wasn't like I spent months in pain.

Fourth: Sleeping is hard enough during pregnancy without adding in the bi-polar nature of toddler sleeping patterns. I've developed insomnia for the first time ever and it seems that Doodle has a mommy sleeping radar. When I'm awake he usually sleeps fitfully and if I'm not in the room, breathing calmly he will pop up and think it's time to boogie (not cool dude) So when I'm finally ready to fall back asleep (damn prenatal insomnia) he's all thrown out of whack and not ready to settle down and sleep.

Fifth: (and really only for your giggle factor) the singular weirdness of lying in bed with my toddler and being kicked from both the inside and the outside of my body is to say the least: disconcerting. I think they are all ready communicating with one another trying to find ways to make life crazy next year when infant twitch turns into Tasmanian devil number two and they begin leaving a trail of destruction through my life.