New Directions/New Intentions

Okay,

So, I'm gonna keep blogging. I miss the contact and friendships I find out here in blog land. So along with my new name I've got some new ideas for how this blog thing is going to continue.

First, I've agreed to "jog," and I use the term loosely, a half marathon on April 7th. My original goal was to do a full marathon this year, however I had a baby, a crisis of fitness and a pretty rough case of lard ass for the last year (ugh) So, new goals (can you hear the excitement?) I'm still deciding how I'm going to work marathon training into the life that also contains family, job, church and crafts. I'll let you know what I decide and part of my blogging for the next few months will be updates on training. I don't yet know if this will replace, or add to, my annual mud run plans, I'm still trying to decide that one too. (I'm pretty indecisive right now)

Second, Crafty awesomeness. I'm going to attempt to do a weekly feature on the blog about something crafty that I've done. I have several ideas floating around. It could be a tutorial, but I tend to think it'll be more show and tell and then if anyone is interested in the specifics I'll post them after a requests comes through. I need to begin earning some sort of revenue from the things I create and I'll be posting information about that as well.

Third, and probably secondary to the jogging-half marathon deal, I'm going to try to re-lose the weight I have put on over the last year. I had the totally valid excuse of pro-creation for awhile, but I'm starting to feel old and fat, it's not a good feeling. I'll hopefully have little trouble shedding the pounds since a three day a week minimum of training is on the docket for at least the next 12 weeks. (esh, that's a lot of gym time)

Fourth, I'm going to attempt to create a bible study. I have been feeling guided toward helping others learn through and about faith. I have some writing skills and a deep love for the word of god. It seems right to me. So I'll probably ask for some opinions about my musings. Hopefully you guys will have some critical opinions for me.

I'm going to be doing non-blogging things as well, including continuing to manage my daughter's girl scout troop, and becoming a organization maven in my house of crazy.

So basically this blog will not have A focus aside from following the days as the craziness unfolds, hope you all enjoy being along for the ride.

Proverbs 3:5

Proverbs 3:5 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

While I was eating lunch and perusing the internet last Friday I happened upon early coverage of the shooting. I immediately started praying, for the children, for the parents, for the teachers, for the siblings, for the family of the shooter and for myself. I have spent the last three days in a half daze state, doing little more than hugging my babies and crying. 

I wanted more than anything to drive to Pumpkin's school, withdraw her from the roster and never let her leave the house again, but then I remembered a few things that kept me at work and gave me some hope. 

First: One of the lessons I've learned from my mother is; if trouble is looking for you, it's going to find you no matter where you hide, and you can't be afraid to live your life. 

Second: (and this one came from a movie) I want to be able to explain things like this to my babies in a way that helps them to deal with the heartbreak that things like this cause. Then I remembered a quote from the movie, "Where the Heart Is" Novalee Nation: You tell them we've all got meanness in us, but we've got goodness too. And the only thing worth living for is the good. And that's why we've got to make sure we pass it on. 

Third: And maybe most important, I reminded myself not to be fooled into being angry at my heavenly father over this event. The tears I shed are trivial compared to the hurt he must feel at the suffering of his children. 

The thing that everyone focuses on is the "Why", and in reality we may never know, which is hard to swallow. Take it a step further, even if there was a letter telling his reasons, would that make it any easier to cope? Would those mothers and fathers sleep easier knowing the reason this person felt the need to wreak havoc on such tender victims? Probably not. 

So I prayed, am praying, will continue to pray. 

Heavenly Father:
Please be with us during this time of sadness  Help those affected to find strength, courage and peace. Help those of us, who are struggling to understand, to put our trust in you. Help us to find peace in our minds and continue to see the wonder of your love in our lives. Help us to remember to be thankful, forgiving and kind. 
In your sons name, 
Amen

Topic: Weightloss: The thing is....

I don't have much to write about it. I weigh 194,
and I'm not sleeping enough to get that number much lower,
and I'm unwilling to go on bitching about it.
I'm living the life of a mommy, doing her best, and it is what it is.

I feel like I've said everything already, like it's silly to re-type
the old promises to myself and the old ideas about weight loss.

And to be totally honest, blogging was never about accountability for me,
I could very easily lie on here, and no one would know the difference.

but, blogging is fun and I enjoy the idea that I am sending good things out into the universe.

The problem is that now, without weight loss as a focus,
I feel fractured, like my blog has no purpose or audience.

I'm trying, but I don't know what to do here, should I keep writing or hang it up?

Anyone else have an opinion?