Week 30: OMG I'M HAVING A BABY!!!!

Squirt weighs about 3 pounds this week and apart from putting on fat he's developing keener eyesight this week, although when he's born it will still be impossible for him to focus on things more than a few inches from his face.

Most of the changes happening this week have to do with me. My ligaments are stretching in preparation for birthing little dude, so my hips have started to feel a little disjointed when I walk. The waddle is here to stay at least for the next little while. My balance is a bit off, which is also normal and I have to stand up slowly or else I get light headed and have to flop back down. (fun)

I did the three hour blood glucose test on saturday and for the first two hours I felt like I was dying from sugar overload. My diet has gone out the window with regard to carbs and fat, but I still don't take in much sugar, so drinking that glucola fluid and not eating anything for almost 4 hours afterward caused a headache, shakes, dizziness and nausea. I ended up weeping like a fool in the waiting room and then almost falling asleep in front of a room full of people before the third blood draw. I started feeling slightly better during the last hour, only the dizzy-ness and headache stuck around for that last leg of the journey. But I was distracted from the discomfort because about 45 minutes before my last draw a man and a woman walked into the lab.

The conversation went like this.
Woman: I have standing lab orders
Tech 1: unfortunately our system says that the orders have expired.
Woman: That's imposible, they are orders written for a year!
Tech 1: That may be, but after 6 months, our system has to have new orders entered otherwise they expire.
Woman: The current order was written less than 2 months ago!
Tech 1: All I can tell you is what the computer says, but...
Woman: I have more trouble with this damned lab than any other location, why is it that you people can never get anything right, I take tranplant meds and have to have my blood drawn every month, I always do it on the last day of the month, how do you not have my order, what the hell is wrong with you people (she starts crying)
Tech 1: Ma'm if you would just give me a moment, let me call...
Man: We have an order, in our hands written less than 2 months ago, this has happened before...
Tech 1 (on the phone with her supervisor): Hey, I'm at the ____ location and I have an irate patient here....
Timeout: If she wasn't irate before, calling someone irate usually does little to improve their attitude, FYI. 
Woman: I AM NOT IRATE!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!! YOU ARE THE MOST INGORANT yaddayaddayaddayaddayaddayaddaydda (I don't really know what else was said, but there was lots of screaming and crying)
Man: (who had just told me he would smack the tech with his cane)I want the number to your corporate office, is anyone there today (it's saturday) no, then give me the number for someone I can talk to today and I want your names, I am going to report you again because this is just ignorant and I can't believe you would call her irate on the phone like that, this is just plain unprofessional. (more stuff came out but, again, I can't remember it all)

Tech 1 walks away, Tech 2 begins dealing with the issue, talks the woman down, fixes the order and takes the ladies blood. The whole time this is happening it's like watching a chick fight in the lunchroom. My thoughts were like, "where do I look, what do I do, I wish I had popcorn, pretend you aren't listening, play with your phone, crochet really fast, don't make eye contact" It was both embarrassing and riveting. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from having crazy tension laughter come bubbling out of me, which would have been completely inappropriate. Out. Of. Bounds.

It seems odd that it could smack me in the face like a blast of cold air but in 8-10 weeks I will be bringing home a newborn person. Yet another little bit of Jeeves and I that we have to mold into something other than a serial killer or worse. I'm both excited and terrified. and I can't sit still. Even though walking is sometimes painful and (I expect) often hilarious to watch, I seem to want to organize and clean and sort and de-clutter everything, all at once. The Munches are getting more excited and since we are now able to show them on the calendar we have started crossing off the days until the baby comes, it's a bedtime routine now, crossing of the days until "Baby Daniel" get here. (Sunshine keeps saying, "Yeah, but Grannie is going to call him Danny," and her tone is so hilarious, it's like, "how dare she call him the wrong name???")

This weekend I worked on my closet and the laundry, which is now thankfully all done.YAY! and my bedroom smells lovely because I put all our pillows in the dryer with tennis balls and dryer sheets. It fluffed the pillows and now they smell awesome too. It was really nice outside for a few days this weekend so I opened the windows and let some air in, which also adds to the freshness of the house, it's been a productive and relaxing weekend.

Tonight I'm going to get the office cleaned back up after my mad whirlwind of holiday crafting, and I'm going to make some new curtains for both the Munches bedroom and my new nursery. Hopefully I can get both of those things done tonight. We'll see.


Brigitte said...

Whoa Nellie!! I have been absent from the blogosphere for well I guess your entire pregnancy and I just found out! Super excited for all of you!! Now I must catch up!!

Laura Belle said...

omg, I would have stared, open mouthed, looking like a 'special' redneck the entire ordeal with the couple. Hilarious, but not at the same time.

10 more weeks. Wow. I can't believe that.

Miss April said...

New babies are very exciting!

Ana said...

Okay, I was tempted to get popcorn just *reading*!! That would have been so awkward to watch, but riveting!

I was thinking about you today before I read your blog, and the thing that went through my mind was quite high school, but at the same time pretty darn awesome. I was singing to myself, in a very off key tone, "Nelly's going to have a baayybee!" I am so excited for you and Jeeves (and the Munchies!).

Don't wear yourself out nesting too much, lady! :)

Polar's Mom said...

Ok, wait-why do you put tennis balls in the dryer??? Am I stupid? I mean moreso than the cake episode???

Julie said...

I have a pair of old little boy sneakers I use for the fluffing, it works amazing. Can't wait for the next 8 or so weeks, a baby is such a great event.
Take care and have a blessed evening.

The Ninja said...

Bridgette- glad to see you back again, the "Baking" tab has weekly updates if you want to see them.

Miss April-I'm super pumped, thanks for stopping by.

PM- the tennis balls fluff the pillows in the dryer.

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