Week 14: Wait? I'm Pregnant?

I recently discovered the issue I have with being pregnant, It's like being highjacked. While on a diet, you shouldn't drink beer, or eat queso dip at the Mexican joint, however you still can. While pregnant, your actions don't just affect your waistline, they also affect the future of the sea monkey you are growing in your expanding and bloated uterus. If you eat one too many Little Debbie's the thing could come out with an extra arm or something. It's terribly exhausting.

So this is week 14, the first week of the second trimester. This week the baby is developing lots of facial movements, which will allow for those cute little half grins and grimaces after it is born. If the child is anything like me this will also create the possibility for a life time of Jim Carrey-esque faces that will be captured on film far more often than he/she would like.

The baby is either the size of a lemon, or a peach (depending on the website you look at) and is apparently kicking up a storm, however I can only feel the slightest movement and it's usually just for a little while right before I fall asleep. I remember feeling Sunshine moving at this point but it had only been a year and a half since I'd been pregnant with Pumpkin, and it's been quite a bit longer this time. I hope to feel more movement in the coming weeks, it helps you feel truly pregnant and to resign yourself to the bloaty-no waist-heartburn-no sleep nonsense that will fill my next 6 months.

Okay, so someone walked up to me and rubbed my stomach. I almost decked her.
But, I was at work and figured that a workers comp case because of a broken nose would not look good on my record. Plus, I need my job so I can afford to take care of this little alien along with my other two. 
My issues with this are two-fold:
1st: I am not a touchy person, except with my kids, and sometimes Jeeves. Other than that, I still have hugging issues with people I have known for years. So....no touchy!
2nd: I don't look super pregnant yet so it just looked like this skinny nut bar was rubbing my belly for luck like I'm the damned Buddha or something.
Gah!
I swear the next time someone does that I'm going to grab their boob and say, "Wow, these are firm, have you had work done?"