8/06/2010

The Need for Justification

I am entering new "life change" territory, aka the part of a diet I have never made it to before. I am very comfortable with my new way of eating, feeding my body good foods, watching portions etc. Granted I slip,(licking my lips while remembering the pie...) but I don't make a slip a landslide. I get back on track and alter my habits the following day to ease the blow to my waist line.

That said why, when giving my self a treat, lunch out, a baked goodie, a beer for god sake, do I feel the need to tell the people around me my philosphy about dieting and how yes this really does fit into my plan.

They don't care, and I'm pretty sure they are not judging me, but in my heart I feel as though they are. Internal movie time...

"Overwight girl slowly enjoys a cookie, licking crumbs off her lips and chewing slowly as if it is the most exquisite ambrosia, meanwhile freinds and family silently mock and shake their heads saying to themselves over the crunching of fattys cookie consumption, "doesn't she know thats how she got where she is" Despite the fact that OWG did an hour long workout today she feels the wieght of guilt settling in her stomach along with the cookie which now tastes like defeat..."

Why do I think this way??? I have gone very far in this journey and am commited to it so I can't wrap my head around the reason that I can't own up to my decision and realize that I am a grown woman who is finally in control of my food and enjoy the damn cookie,...or pie.

In FTW news this week, in spite of the pie I have lost another pound. 209 is my new low, thats 23 pounds down and 59 to go!

I'm going out to the theatre with my Mom tonight to see Footloose the musical, so I did my hair, and I'm feeling pretty cute today, and I'll probably eat a cookie :0)
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2 comments:

Brittany_Va-Voom Vintage said...

Cute hair!! You are right, no one actually judges you. When I see you eating a piece of pie or a cookie, I think "Good for her! She's done so well, she should enjoy a piece of something sweet!" The point of dieting is to feel good. Depriving yourself of a sweet treat every once in a while doesn't feel good! You eat your cookie, I'll join you in one too!! :)

NellieMoellering said...

he he he, thanks Brit, it helps to have voices of reason around me to cut through the fog of inner-crazy-speak.

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