The Munches are sick, like for real sick and I feel like a jerk because the other night Pumpkin comes in all weepy and sniffly at like 2;30 in the morning and says her ear hurts. Well the sniffly and weepy wakes up her brother who has developed an inability to sleep in a horizontal position without screaming like someone is ripping off his toes with pliers. So amid the screams I give her my patent mommy response to booboos of unknown origin.
"Go get a cold thing" (these are chilled gel packs that help with bump and bruises and we keep them in a basket in the fridge.) I managed to get the tiny one back to sleep by sitting up propped by pillows and "ssssshhhhhh"ing in his ear for a while, until I dozed back off.
FYI: (and I know this from experience) when you put cold on an infected ear, it hurts like a bitch. So, then an hour later Pumpkin comes back still weepy and now quite soggy from crying and snotting all over herself. (is there anything more creepy than being woken up by a child in the middle of the night, they think they are being nice by whispering but you wake up with them standing over you like a scene from a horror movie and you immediately look for the exit and grab for the knife under your mattress, amiright?....maybe it's just me.)
"mommy that cold thing didn't help much"
*cue shrieking infant
*cue Joan Crawford moment
So I dragged my ass out of bed and got the hot sock, (a sock that I filled with flax seeds) nuked it in the microwave for a minute gave Pumpkin some tylenol and a drink and tucked her back into bed with the warm sock and smell of flax to lull her to sleep. (all of this to the tune of shrieking baby in b flat major)
So I called the pediatrician and asked for an appointment for sanity, the nurse seemed confused; then I might have mumbled something about prolonged colds, painful ears that kids don't use anyway and horizontal intolerance. She gave me an appointment for a day later, (great one more night of awesome.)
So before bed we gave everyone a dose of Tylenol and another of benadryl for good measure, nuked the hot sock and tucked everyone in with hope for good things. I don't remember much of what happened, the fatigue induced fog has hazed my recollection but when the alarm went off to get up and go to the doctor I was sitting straight up on the loveseat with Pumpkin's head in my lap and Squirt and I strapped into the moby wrap sweating enough to necessitate a bath before leaving the house.
Sunshine slept blissfully unaware and woke up ready for pop-tarts.
I wanted to punch her.