So I've been told on numerous occasions not to pray for patience, because when you do God gives you reasons to be patient. My ability to deal with the little annoyances in my life has been greatly diminshed by...well, I'm really not sure. Honestly I don't remember when my fuse got so short. But I'm super irritated most of the time, especially by the constant nattering, giggling, yelling and fighting of my two little munches.

It's gotten to the point the Jeeves told me last night that my face and voice were mean.
That knocked me back a bit, I'm mean?
Not okay, something has got to change.

I don't want to be that angry mother that people glare at in stores. I've seen that lady in the store, I don't want to be her. I want my children to know that I love them and love being with them. I need some help, but I'm not praying for patience, I'm praying for better coping skills, and to be more mindful of my interactions with my children. Also being the person I am, I have a plan.

I honestly don't believe my kids are trying to drive me crazy. I think that they would be much more chill when we are confined to the house if they were out doing other things more often, so we are going to be going out much more. There are tons of free places where I can turn them loose and let them run out all that excess energy. Booger is old enough now that I wouldn't have to follow them around, I could sit on a park bench and practice some deep breathing.

Also, they both love to do workout videos with me, so I in spite of the fact that I work out at the gym more often than not, we are going to be doing some exercises at home. I bet there is a kid based dance workout vid somewhere out there, I'm gonna find it and buy it. 

Has anyone else ever felt this way, had this pervasive sense of irritation directed at the world at large for no definable reason?


Amanda said...

Yep, although mine is hormonal in basis. This is one reason I track my cycles like an animal. About 2 weeks after the cycle starts, I experience some form of evil, be it bloating, moodiness, mad food cravings, and sometimes all three at once.

Thing is, if I realize what's causing it, I can temper myself. "Amanda, calm down. The fact that he's wearing a beige belt instead of a brown one isn't going to ruin anyone's life;" "Amanda, step AWAY from the Reese's. You know that there are times you cannot stop and this is one of those times," etc.

That's just my issue, though -- and I have to add that I am verified as perimenopausal, so take that into account LOL.

My poor husband is a saint :)

safire said...

When I find myself extra sensitive or easily irritable, I schedule some alone time for me to gather my thoughts and get some peace. After that, I have the tools to be patient and loving to those around me.

Hope your day goes well!

Jacqui said...

yep. Been there. Mine was because I went off anti-depressants too soon after having post-partum depression. I got back on and it's been much better.

Though, I don't have a lot of patience in general, I have been trying to be much more patient with the little monkey.

((HUGS)) You will get through this!

Anonymous said...

There must be something in the air lately, because I've been super-irritable recently too. I can't chalk it up to anything - I've actually been having a pretty good couple weeks...but still I hate everyone. :)

I don't know if this is an option at their ages, but perhaps this is a good time to start working on your girls learning to entertain themselves...I don't know how long you can leave them in another room, but it would probs be helpful to you if they knew sometimes Mama needs half an hour to herself. Does that make sense?


Julie said...

I deal with my wee ones all day long 15 hours a day so I know where you're coming from. That is why if you check out my everyday blog you'll see that we are busy all the time. Always on the go, out doing something, baking, cooking, crafting or even cleaning house together. If now I'm pretty sure daycare wouldn't be on my top 10 list to do.
When Mike was really little I can't remember what we were doing but somehow I taped myself yelling at Mike for something and I sounded horrible. Mean, rotten and more. I cried, really was heart broke I could sound like that. That was the beginning of the better more patient me. I'm not anywhere near perfect but I did end up with a much longer fuse.
Good luck my dear, it's hard but it's worth it. You'll love life so much more if you can lengthen that fuse.
Take care and have a blessed evening.

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