2/09/2011

Fat, Lazy and Safe

Jeeves and I went out last night to the local comedy club for open-mike night. I love open mike night, it's like watching 5 year olds play t-ball. (which, by the way, is the funniest shit evar) There was this comedian who talked about kids and said he was going to give his kids all the food they could eat because fat kids are harder to kidnap. He was talking about people on the news and how their kids are the sexy skinny kids out there playing soccer and running. He said his kids were going to have dortios and XBOX, they are going to be fat, lazy and safe. It made me laugh so hard that my tonic with lime almost came out of my nose.

There is a 2 drink minimum at the bar so I had no-cal tonic with lime. Looked like a drink but non of the calories of booze, nor the water retention factor. yipee. I'm still feeling puffy today so I may take a water pill. I got the okay from the doc since my hormones are being spiteful to take one a day when I'm feeling super puffy, I just have to drink "at least 6-8 glasses of water a day"...like that's an issue. Gimmie a break here, I'm drinking so much damn water I feel like I'm trying to get into the Guinness book

I found out that the ultrasound is going to cost almost 200.00 so I've had to postpone it until we get our taxes done. I don't have that kind of out of pocket cash. Also I think perhaps I can get them to bill me; that way I can use my FSA money. Good thing too, I always do the FSA and almost never use all the cash I pay in.  Let me just tell you how crushed I am that I don't get to go in and have some stranger perform an invasive test on me. An invasive (embarrassing) test which will probably not give me anymore information than I already have.

Going to the gym today with high hopes for an great workout. I've been feeling pretty sluggish and working alot of hours so I'm hoping the workout today will give me some endorphins and help me feel a little more alert. (The world needs more lerts.) I'm holding out hope that the temperature elevation slated for the end of the week happens, if it does I am going to take a few hours off work and go for my very first outside three mile jog.

I am committed to becoming a runner. I want to do charity runs, marathons and who knows, maybe more. I have a group of new (and awesome) friends who run and do charity stuff and I want so badly to do it with them. I think I am holding myself back because I'm terrified of running in public. I had exercise induced asthma as a child and never had to run in gym class. So running isn't exactly natural to me, but I love the exhilaration that comes from the cardio I do indoors, I bet outdoors is better. I need to get over being a big giant baby self conscious and just get out there.

C25K here I come.

13 comments:

Bethanny said...

I remember seeing a painting of a cartoon fat kid and under it, were the words " Fat Kids Don't Get Kidnapped". I was like WOW. That is hanging in someone's living room right now...

Patrick said...

no-cal tonic water, oh did I learn a lesson there. I love tonic water, and last fall I was drinking a bunch, and then i found out that tonic water is not no-cal, huh... it is water? I learned the hard way i was ingesting 100s of added calories. Doh... i dedicated a blog post to my oops.

Kelly said...

Was it the Funny Bone? I haven't been in a while since they're so freakin packed on the weekends, which is generally the only time I have to get up there.

The Ninja said...

Yeah, it was the funny bone, the good ones were hysterical, the bombs were -epic-

Polar's Mom said...

Be the Ninja you are!!! Be fearless! Or at least fake it till you make it...I bet you will surprise yourself running outside!

Polar's Mom
www.polarspage.blogspot.com

Big White Granny Panties said...

It pisses me off beyond imagining that you cannot GET A NEEDED MEDICAL TEST because you have to wait for your tax return. I was getting ready to rant about the evil insurance companies and the shoddy status of health care, but I will refrain. As a person who reads you regularly, I am a worrier. I want to know WHAT is going on. Do you need a loan?

xoxo GP

Julie said...

It isn't fair having to wait. Insurance companies don't rule, though they think they do. I hope you can go soon.
Thanks for stopping by. I would so love to love Zumba like you.
Take care my friends and God bless!!

Jacqui said...

I alway say that my monkey throws such amazing huge tantrums, if someone does try to kidnap her.. they would bring her right back!

I'm with White Granny Panties.. that's ridiculous that you have to wait for the test! Not right at all!

Do it! Become a runner! It is something I want to be too. I have a LONG way to go.. but I think it would be amazing!

als said...

"The world needs more lerts..." Tee hee hee... I say that all the time - my hubster rolls his eyes at me a lot. ;)

I agree with all the commenters who have said it's ridiculous to have to wait to get your taxes done in order to pay for a NEEDED MEDICAL TEST! *nods towards Granny Panties while biting tongue*

And I know you will be a runner - no doubt about it. After all, you're already a jogger! :D

Stephanie said...

I'm sorry you have to wait for your ultrasound, but I totally understand. With Shawn's medical bills piling in all the time, we've had to put several things off too. *sigh* Sending a ton of hugs your way.

gracies tough journey said...

LoL fat kids dont get kidnapped. I am not PC, so that was funny as hell. Also, both my kids played 5 yr old T-Ball, I dont think I ever laughed so much in all the years they played. Man they are cute. It was the first time it was really fun. My daughter played thru college. Good luck on the ultra sound when you do get it. Positive thoughts for you.

Mrs. D said...

I almost peed from laughing!! My dad used to say something like that once I hit puberty (I was the only 6th grader with a C cup!). He was happy I was a little chunky, hoped it would keep me under the radar!

I want to be a runner one day too, but it seems so far away! You can do this though, I hear running outside is just so much more fun than on an elliptical!

Cynthia said...

i'm super excited for you to be a runner with me! i'm not even sure about taking on a marathon but am impressed that it's on your list!! and i personally find it IMMENSELY easier to run outside. last fall i was running 5+ miles at a time outside and when it's warmish and you can see changing landscapes, it's great. when you're on a treadmill, it's hard to pretend like you can run that far.

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