11/04/2010

Someone Else's Pants

You know that saying about walking a mile in someone else shoes? I think I prefer walking in someone else's pants. Shoe sizes, unless you have had a baby, don't change much as a person gets older. Pants sizes however, can fluctuate wildly. I recently received two pairs of pants from a friends at work. She said she doesn't wear them and they are a bit tight. I could tell when she gave them to me that she was feeling sad that she couldn't wear them anymore, even though I know she is my friend and is happy that I'm losing. I am wearing them today and feeling a bit sad for her, a bit happy for me, and a bit philosophical about pants in general.

I saved my biggest pair of jeans from the great fat-clothes exodus, I thought it would make a great before and after picture. But I am remembering when I was shopping for those pants, the awful sinking feeling of having to buy yet another, bigger item of clothing because other things just didn't fit anymore. I remember grabbing them off the rack and taking them into the fitting room, praying they would be too big. And then, when they fit perfectly, hoping people would never ask me what size I was, I don't like to lie, but it hurts a little to admit to people, like my Mom, that you have gained that much. I used to ask for clothing at Christmas, but in past years I've been asking for jammies and saying, just get me a 2X, they always shrink and I like them big anyhow.

Since I shop almost totally resale, it always took me awhile to get a wardrobe I really liked because things would trickle in a piece at a time. I am so happy that I get to go and buy smaller clothing, but at the same time, I spent a lot of time buying those fat clothes, finding things that made me feel attractive even though I was overweight. Each time I try on something that used to fit and is now too big, I have this incredibly confusing mash-up of emotions, Yay! I"m still losing, Crap! there goes another thing I really liked.

I shop retail, so I'm always wearing what used to be someone else's pants and I have started thinking about the reasons the pants end up at the Goodwill. Was this person unhappy with what I think are awesome pants? Were they gaining weight? Did they lose weight? Why did I end up with these pants? Whose pants am I wearing?

Whatever the reason, and whoever owned the pants before, I am glad they are mine for now, I'm glad to be walking in these pants, seeing the world from this perspective. I hope someday I can pass them along to someone else who needs to take a walk in my pants for a while.

size 14 -1
Me Today, in size 14

6 comments:

Dr. Fat To Fit said...

Look at skinny pants you! Your legs are a lot smaller! I know what you mean about not wanting to spend money as we shrink. AND in some ways I miss the comfort of my old fat clothes I was confident in. But, I'd rather have the small ones. Wish you lived near me I have a BUNCH of 20s I need to dispose of. send me an email drfattofit@gmail.com.

christina said...

Wonderful post - it made me think... and smile!

I have had the same happy/sad moment when my clothes are too big... first I hate having to spend more money and second it sucks not to have anything to wear! But the oddest feeling is taking a pair of pants into the fitting room thinking - oh my god these are so small there is NO way they will fit and then they fit perfectly! I have no clue what shape my body is now... what size I am in my head and on the rack are very different.

Roxie said...

Can you believe I've never shopped at Goodwill or any other 2nd hand store? And not because I'm a snob. I just never THOUGHT about it.

A pic of your size 20 pants? We want to see you in those 14's! :p

The Ninja said...

LOL Roxie, I changed the pic for you. I love the goodwill. I figure when i get and stay at my goal for awhile I may sink some cash into new clothes, but why spend for clothes I don't intend on wearing that long?

Roxie said...

Looking good! Rock them pants. I think I may need to head over this weekend. I'm almost done with these 20's myself ...

The Fat Mom said...

You are looking amazing in those pants. You look really slim! I don't shop at Goodwill for myself. First I can't ever find clothes big enough. Second I hate digging in piles of clothes for a couple dollars saved.

I wish I could fit into a size 14, or even a freakin 20. My fat mom butt is still in a 24/26. One day...

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