The first couple weeks are not all muted pictures of pretty momma's happily nursing little soft pastel bundles. A movie-like scene where older children play quietly and offer to bring diapers and cocktails to Mommy as she languishes on a soft couch, in a clean house that smells like new baby and cupcakes. Bringing home a new child is like dropping a bag of peppered crazy on your whole house.
First of all your house looks like it's been overrun by homicidal vagrants. No one is wearing pants, there are
Secondly, the noise is profound. Baby and Mommy are both crying, the television is turned on in every room of the house, older siblings are cranky and stir crazy, and have probably discovered that howling like hyenas makes Daddy's face turn funny colors (look what I can do!). The phone is ringing like mad because everyone wants to come and see "the new little angel" and in-laws just show up, usually in the middle of the pant-less, howling, face changing, mayhem. This un-announced visit leads to them offering to "help" or more accurately, they'll hold the baby while you clean up your house, hose off your older kids, make your visitors a beverage and snack, and make yourself look less like a member of the cast of the Walking Dead.
Thirdly, Mommy usually looks like one of the unfortunate cracked out hookers on COPS. With greasy gnarled hair, post baby acne riddle skin, saggy places and as mentioned above, no pants. There is also a good chance she is wearing the same t-shirt as she was three days ago, complete with
Yup, I can wait.
I'm enjoying the quiet, sleep-filled, daiper-less, existence where the baby is just the "alien in residence."