Jeeves' friend brought his little girl over to our house to play with the munches during the Dude-fest last night. I like the young-un, but it seems as though the addition of one child into the mix of my house created a level of noise I did not think three little girls could attain. Cripes, my head is pounding today. It made me wish it was light outside and I could kick them all out into the yard and let them run and scream till they fell over.
But then Pumpkin was so tired she feel asleep on the floor waiting for me fold a load of towels from the dryer that had been dumped on the bed. When I picked her up to put her in bed, she hugged me and said, "Mommy I love you, I'm just to tired" I think it was the first time she ever actually admitted she was tired. I should write this down in her baby book.
It's only 9:30 and my head hurts, a lot. Sometimes I get these headaches that just make me ill. From what I've read about migraines, that' what they are, but I've never been diagnosed, so I'm not sure. It feels like my entire head is being squeezed and my eyes are going to explode, my jaw hurts, I'm nauseated, okay, okay, I'll stop bitching, it's just really difficult to complete menial tasks when you feel as though you are in the middle of an aneurysm.
With Halloween down and Thanksgiving fast approaching I am in full-craft mode. I cleaned out the craft room/office yesterday and organized my supplies to prepare for the great sewing adventure that awaits me. I am making gifts for almost everyone on my list this year, I love handmade Christmas, I am trying to show everyone how much I love them because I can't spend a lot of money, but I can spend my time, making something for you, showing you that you are important. On the docket for gifts this year, charm bracelets, sewn treasures, puppet show kits, blankets, sweaters, and a grand shawl for a player to be named later.
Does anyone else do home-made gifts?
What makes me smile this Monday?
My kitchen was clean before I went to bed last night, I washed every dish, dried and put it away, I wiped down the counters and returned everything to it's place. When I walked in there to retrieve lunch on my way to work today I felt pleasantly surprised and weirdly peaceful because of the non-chaos I found, I am going to see if I can keep this up. The good feeling is so worth the 15 minutes of effort.
11/08/2010
11/07/2010
Great Pasta.
Tonight Jeeves had a dude-fest at our house, football, wrestling, and more testosterone than I am typically capable of dealing with. But these are good guys, they are nice to me and speak well of my cooking, which makes me love them a lot. I made food and played hostess and a good time was had by all thanks to my Bacon Cheeseburger Pasta. Don't make any mistakes, this is NOT healthy, it's made with bacon, grease, cheese and pasta. I didn't feel bad about having a small bowl of it though, I planned for this decadence and I enjoyed every cheesy lovely bite...
I've kept my calories down every day this week, but my exercise has been lacking. So, with some bone in my back and the knowledge that exercise makes me less stressed an better able to deal with the non-sense I am going to have at work this week, I am renewing my resolve and getting back in to my workout groove.
This week the weather is going to be pretty nice so my plan is be out in the sun enough to keep a smile of my face until friday. How about all of you, what's your plan for this week?
I've kept my calories down every day this week, but my exercise has been lacking. So, with some bone in my back and the knowledge that exercise makes me less stressed an better able to deal with the non-sense I am going to have at work this week, I am renewing my resolve and getting back in to my workout groove.
This week the weather is going to be pretty nice so my plan is be out in the sun enough to keep a smile of my face until friday. How about all of you, what's your plan for this week?
11/04/2010
Someone Else's Pants
You know that saying about walking a mile in someone else shoes? I think I prefer walking in someone else's pants. Shoe sizes, unless you have had a baby, don't change much as a person gets older. Pants sizes however, can fluctuate wildly. I recently received two pairs of pants from a friends at work. She said she doesn't wear them and they are a bit tight. I could tell when she gave them to me that she was feeling sad that she couldn't wear them anymore, even though I know she is my friend and is happy that I'm losing. I am wearing them today and feeling a bit sad for her, a bit happy for me, and a bit philosophical about pants in general.
I saved my biggest pair of jeans from the great fat-clothes exodus, I thought it would make a great before and after picture. But I am remembering when I was shopping for those pants, the awful sinking feeling of having to buy yet another, bigger item of clothing because other things just didn't fit anymore. I remember grabbing them off the rack and taking them into the fitting room, praying they would be too big. And then, when they fit perfectly, hoping people would never ask me what size I was, I don't like to lie, but it hurts a little to admit to people, like my Mom, that you have gained that much. I used to ask for clothing at Christmas, but in past years I've been asking for jammies and saying, just get me a 2X, they always shrink and I like them big anyhow.
Since I shop almost totally resale, it always took me awhile to get a wardrobe I really liked because things would trickle in a piece at a time. I am so happy that I get to go and buy smaller clothing, but at the same time, I spent a lot of time buying those fat clothes, finding things that made me feel attractive even though I was overweight. Each time I try on something that used to fit and is now too big, I have this incredibly confusing mash-up of emotions, Yay! I"m still losing, Crap! there goes another thing I really liked.
I shop retail, so I'm always wearing what used to be someone else's pants and I have started thinking about the reasons the pants end up at the Goodwill. Was this person unhappy with what I think are awesome pants? Were they gaining weight? Did they lose weight? Why did I end up with these pants? Whose pants am I wearing?
Whatever the reason, and whoever owned the pants before, I am glad they are mine for now, I'm glad to be walking in these pants, seeing the world from this perspective. I hope someday I can pass them along to someone else who needs to take a walk in my pants for a while.
Me Today, in size 14
I saved my biggest pair of jeans from the great fat-clothes exodus, I thought it would make a great before and after picture. But I am remembering when I was shopping for those pants, the awful sinking feeling of having to buy yet another, bigger item of clothing because other things just didn't fit anymore. I remember grabbing them off the rack and taking them into the fitting room, praying they would be too big. And then, when they fit perfectly, hoping people would never ask me what size I was, I don't like to lie, but it hurts a little to admit to people, like my Mom, that you have gained that much. I used to ask for clothing at Christmas, but in past years I've been asking for jammies and saying, just get me a 2X, they always shrink and I like them big anyhow.
Since I shop almost totally resale, it always took me awhile to get a wardrobe I really liked because things would trickle in a piece at a time. I am so happy that I get to go and buy smaller clothing, but at the same time, I spent a lot of time buying those fat clothes, finding things that made me feel attractive even though I was overweight. Each time I try on something that used to fit and is now too big, I have this incredibly confusing mash-up of emotions, Yay! I"m still losing, Crap! there goes another thing I really liked.
I shop retail, so I'm always wearing what used to be someone else's pants and I have started thinking about the reasons the pants end up at the Goodwill. Was this person unhappy with what I think are awesome pants? Were they gaining weight? Did they lose weight? Why did I end up with these pants? Whose pants am I wearing?
Whatever the reason, and whoever owned the pants before, I am glad they are mine for now, I'm glad to be walking in these pants, seeing the world from this perspective. I hope someday I can pass them along to someone else who needs to take a walk in my pants for a while.
Me Today, in size 14
11/03/2010
Tag! You're It
So My good Buddy, The Fat Mom, sent me a challenge and I'm going to answer.
The rules of this game are to answer these questions and then ask 4 different questions of 4 other folks, so here we go.
1. If you had a penis for one day, what would you do?
-I would probably pee standing up once, and spend all day just looking at it, cause lets face it, those things look strange.
2. What would your pornstar/stripper name be and why?
-Boo Snugga, cause that's the goofy nickname Jeeves gave me for about a week after we watched a hilarious movie with Steve Martin and Queen Latifah.
3. If you would never get caught, what illegal activity would you participate in?
-The thing is none of them really appeal that much to me, but if I had to pick, I'd say racketeering, because it sounds like an evil game of tennis.
4. If you could change a part of your past, what would it be?
-I'd have gone to school and learned a skill as well as a degree. My education was expensive, but not as useful in the real world as I would like it to be.
So I'm Asking
Randy at The Low Band Width Diet
Dr. Fat to Fit
Laurie at Feeling Good Inside and Out
Shanilie at Losing Over Half of Me
The Questions are as follows.
1. What's your guilty pleasure food?
2. How often do you look at yourself in the mirror, be honest.
3. What habit bothers you the most? (think chewing with mouth open, blowing nose at the table, etc)
4. What is your favorite Christmas song.
Okay I had an NSV this week, here I'll show you....
My left hand last week
My left hand this week.
My Wedding ring fits again!!! I have huge hands, they are like man hands, long thick fingers, which are good for doing things, but not really very lady like. My ring is a size 7, and it fit when we bought it, and up to about 2 years ago. It's still a bit tight and when I've had too much salt it twinges a bit, but it goes on and comes off, Huzzah!
The rules of this game are to answer these questions and then ask 4 different questions of 4 other folks, so here we go.
1. If you had a penis for one day, what would you do?
-I would probably pee standing up once, and spend all day just looking at it, cause lets face it, those things look strange.
2. What would your pornstar/stripper name be and why?
-Boo Snugga, cause that's the goofy nickname Jeeves gave me for about a week after we watched a hilarious movie with Steve Martin and Queen Latifah.
3. If you would never get caught, what illegal activity would you participate in?
-The thing is none of them really appeal that much to me, but if I had to pick, I'd say racketeering, because it sounds like an evil game of tennis.
4. If you could change a part of your past, what would it be?
-I'd have gone to school and learned a skill as well as a degree. My education was expensive, but not as useful in the real world as I would like it to be.
So I'm Asking
Randy at The Low Band Width Diet
Dr. Fat to Fit
Laurie at Feeling Good Inside and Out
Shanilie at Losing Over Half of Me
The Questions are as follows.
1. What's your guilty pleasure food?
2. How often do you look at yourself in the mirror, be honest.
3. What habit bothers you the most? (think chewing with mouth open, blowing nose at the table, etc)
4. What is your favorite Christmas song.
Okay I had an NSV this week, here I'll show you....
My left hand last week
My left hand this week.
My Wedding ring fits again!!! I have huge hands, they are like man hands, long thick fingers, which are good for doing things, but not really very lady like. My ring is a size 7, and it fit when we bought it, and up to about 2 years ago. It's still a bit tight and when I've had too much salt it twinges a bit, but it goes on and comes off, Huzzah!
11/02/2010
NFNP's
My 100th Post, Holy Cow!!!
I had been suffering from some "diet drift" I was going right up to my total calories for maintenance and not really paying attention to the veggies and lean proteins. I wasn't eating like I wanted to gain, But I wasn't eating to lose either. I work in Human service and we are studying a new way of looking at "incidents." I have found that this applies to me in my dieting.
When incidents happen and people get hurt, you have to figure out why. The new approach we are studying is called Just Culture and one of the things it speaks about is "at risk behavior" Which is when people start to take shortcuts, ignore safety regulations and then something happens, and suddenly everyone sort of snaps back into shape for awhile, until a bit of time passes and the drift begins again. Just Culture talks about finding ways to reduce this "at risk behavior" ways to prevent the drift, internal checks, new policies, recognizing and addressing the risky behaviors, before something awful happens
I believe that I was engaging in "at risk behavior" last week, and now am working to put some new "Non-Fat Ninja Policies" in place in my life. I have identified to risky behaviors, they are...
1. Change in routine: This causes me issues because I typically do not plan ahead and when I find myself out with no good food, I buy fast food. (which is not as good as I remembered, so maybe it's a good thing I had some last week, now I won't crave it)
2. Poorly Budgeted Food Funds: I had a few unexpected things come up last week which cut into my fresh fruit and veg money, so we're going to try to prevent that in the future.
3. Trigger Foods in the house: I do very well when there are lots of good options and less awful ones. There was regular soda and baked goods in my house last week, both trigger foods for me, I tend to keep going back for them.
So the NFNP's are going to be thus:
1. Better planning when changes in routine are anticipated, of course I can't catch them all, but I can do better than I did.
2. New envelope for food funds, and since there is a big fridge at work, making a list of work foods for me; to ensure I have fruit, yogurt, sandwich thins and laughing cow for lunches at work.
3. Keeping trigger foods either out of the house, or frozen so immediate snacking cannot occur and I'll be forced to think about it before deciding to un-thaw something(weird, but this really works for me)
Do you have any food policies to keep yourself from drifting?
I had been suffering from some "diet drift" I was going right up to my total calories for maintenance and not really paying attention to the veggies and lean proteins. I wasn't eating like I wanted to gain, But I wasn't eating to lose either. I work in Human service and we are studying a new way of looking at "incidents." I have found that this applies to me in my dieting.
When incidents happen and people get hurt, you have to figure out why. The new approach we are studying is called Just Culture and one of the things it speaks about is "at risk behavior" Which is when people start to take shortcuts, ignore safety regulations and then something happens, and suddenly everyone sort of snaps back into shape for awhile, until a bit of time passes and the drift begins again. Just Culture talks about finding ways to reduce this "at risk behavior" ways to prevent the drift, internal checks, new policies, recognizing and addressing the risky behaviors, before something awful happens
I believe that I was engaging in "at risk behavior" last week, and now am working to put some new "Non-Fat Ninja Policies" in place in my life. I have identified to risky behaviors, they are...
1. Change in routine: This causes me issues because I typically do not plan ahead and when I find myself out with no good food, I buy fast food. (which is not as good as I remembered, so maybe it's a good thing I had some last week, now I won't crave it)
2. Poorly Budgeted Food Funds: I had a few unexpected things come up last week which cut into my fresh fruit and veg money, so we're going to try to prevent that in the future.
3. Trigger Foods in the house: I do very well when there are lots of good options and less awful ones. There was regular soda and baked goods in my house last week, both trigger foods for me, I tend to keep going back for them.
So the NFNP's are going to be thus:
1. Better planning when changes in routine are anticipated, of course I can't catch them all, but I can do better than I did.
2. New envelope for food funds, and since there is a big fridge at work, making a list of work foods for me; to ensure I have fruit, yogurt, sandwich thins and laughing cow for lunches at work.
3. Keeping trigger foods either out of the house, or frozen so immediate snacking cannot occur and I'll be forced to think about it before deciding to un-thaw something(weird, but this really works for me)
Do you have any food policies to keep yourself from drifting?
11/01/2010
And now, before your very eyes.....
The woman who doesn't shrink at all...
Do you see a difference? The first is last halloween and the second is a week or two ago. It's hard for me to see one, but the jacket wouldn't fasten last halloween and it went with the rest of the fat clothes last week because now it looks silly on me because it's so big.
Do you see a difference? The first is last halloween and the second is a week or two ago. It's hard for me to see one, but the jacket wouldn't fasten last halloween and it went with the rest of the fat clothes last week because now it looks silly on me because it's so big.
Halloweekend
Happy Monday all.
You will be happy to hear that I resisted all but one piece of halloween candy! I found that even though I had calories left in my day, I didn't even really want it...It was sort of amazing.
I ended up only getting one really awful photo of my Robin costume, So I'll get pictures again, ones that don't stink. I am going to post a few of the photos from trick'or'treating, but they really good ones are on mom's camera so I'll get those up later this week.
Pumpkin and Booger (holding hands, zomg so cute!)
Me And Booger
Jeeves and Booger
Pumpkin
I know Mom got some good ones inside, and one of the whole dino family. I am already thinking about what we are goin to be next year. I think we will be either the cast of Alice in Wonderland, or Bugs.
Since it's Monday, I'm gonna tell you something good.
I don't want to eat halloween candy, I don't crave it, desire it or even think I could eat more than one peice if it was offered, Hot Damn!!!
You will be happy to hear that I resisted all but one piece of halloween candy! I found that even though I had calories left in my day, I didn't even really want it...It was sort of amazing.
I ended up only getting one really awful photo of my Robin costume, So I'll get pictures again, ones that don't stink. I am going to post a few of the photos from trick'or'treating, but they really good ones are on mom's camera so I'll get those up later this week.
Pumpkin and Booger (holding hands, zomg so cute!)
Me And Booger
Jeeves and Booger
Pumpkin
I know Mom got some good ones inside, and one of the whole dino family. I am already thinking about what we are goin to be next year. I think we will be either the cast of Alice in Wonderland, or Bugs.
Since it's Monday, I'm gonna tell you something good.
I don't want to eat halloween candy, I don't crave it, desire it or even think I could eat more than one peice if it was offered, Hot Damn!!!
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