The Hangover Part 3

Confused: Let me Explain

-Most mornings I wake up confused about where I am. I have two little people who routinely sneak into bed with me and so occasionally I wake up hanging off the edge of the bed with a small, ridiculously hot little bag of elbows both kicking me in the ribs and sleeping on my face. Add to this the "I feel like someone just drugged my Cosmo" feeling that stays with you all day long. So,when your eyes open in the morning you're never really sure if you are in bed or in a barn somewhere. (also Jeeves snores -really- loud, so the barn is usually my first assumption.)

-I don't remember what happened yesterday, or 5 minutes ago. I can't really remember anything. Why didn't I buy dryer sheets, milk -and- toddler underwear at the store? Because, they are all in different sections, and I got distracted by the machine that lets you listen to snippets of each song on a myriad of CD's including one CD of love songs that had me sobbing in The Wal-Marts. (By the way you can probably see pictures of that Hot Tranny Mess on the "People of Walmart" website) No I didn't read the shopping list, why? because I was wrangling two toddlers who kept asking me about M&M's and why I was crying, dude, shut up!

-I look like hell. For serious, I have bruises all over the place and the dark circles under my eyes have started changing colors like a mood ring. "How are you feeling, Ninja?"..."I'm not really sure, what color is my face?" None of my clothing seems to work out. The minute I get pregnant, even though they still fit, regular pants are no longer an option for me. And in spite of the fact that I haven't even gained a pound yet,  my uterus has decided that it's going to grow like that damned alien cocoon thing in the Species movie. Not even eight weeks in and already people are giving me those creepy, "I know what you've been up too..." smiles that they reserve for pregnant ladies and porn actresses. (let's face it we get those smiles for the same reason)

- My stomach is really, really angry with me. You know that tense, "Wait, am I going the throw up?" feeling that comes with a hangover? Add to that an inconsistent flip flop between constipation and the other option and you've got a recipe for a complete inability to concentrate on anything but deep breathing and possibly never eating any thing ever again. But! Wait! You also have varying degrees of "I'm so hungry I could ninja kick that kid and steal what's left of her candy bar" and "Dear god if anyone even says the word pickle I'm gonna hurl" It's like my digestive tract has schizophrenia.

It would be really cool if being in this movie included (sexy even when looking like he's been hit by a bus) Bradley Cooper hanging around being all hot and charming, however in my version the only thing that you forget in the trunk are your keys (shit!) and when you wake up on the roof you are actually glad because at least it's quiet.

*Also the picture was from Halloween 2009, and I went out in public like that. Yes, I did.


Yup, Baking

So as most of you now know, my secret is that Jeeves and I are expecting. It explains the fatigue and lethargy as well as the sudden and constant runny nose. That will continue until about 2 hours after the baby comes. then it will clear up and I'll be happy.

I'm not barfing, but I feel gross and queasy all the time. But from what I've read after you hurl you still feel gross and queasy, so I figure I'm coming out ahead because I don't have to carry a toothbrush/mouthwash around with me all the time.

When I ran the 5K on the 4th of July, I was pregnant. I had decided to run in an 'event' once a month but with the PG status and the Missouri heat wave I decided against it for July. I don't want to risk my health. Call me a pansy but jogging is supposed to fun, not concussion inducing. I feel like running in 90 degree weather (cause it's 90 degrees and it 9am) would be dangerous for anyone, and I'm dizzy and nauseous. Therefore, Pansy am I none, because I have a 5K planned in September and a 10K in October.

Next week I have every intention of getting back to the gym and on the treadmill, and back to Zumba classes. I've missed them and the exercise will not only help my energy level but will help in the long run with maintaining a healthy weight during this pregnancy. I am going to stay under 200 pounds. The doc says I can keep my calories at 1800 unless or until, my blood-work shows that my body is not getting the right amount of good stuff. At 175, I only 'have' to gain between 15 and 20 pounds, and I will likely lose a few in the next few weeks, provided I can stay away from Sonic.

Now that everyone knows the secret, I can show you my sewing projects, I've been altering garage sale clothing into super comfy and stylish maternity wear to supplement the wardrobe I had left over from having the munches. I will have Jeeves help me take some photos and post them so you can see the awesome ideas I've found on some of the cool mom-to-be blogs.


a few mentionable things

- the heatwave in the mid-west continues and I feel like my brain is melting.
- the munches fish died and they told us they don't want a new fish, because fish will just die. (this does not bode well for future pet endeavors)
- operation spare room has been completed, the last load of crap went to the dump and the goodwill and now the room is ready to be used.
- I have a secret.  It's a big secret.
- Pumpkin's party is coming along really well and several sainted members of the extended ninja family have offered to bring things like food and extra wading pools. (I love my family)
- My new job is going very well. I am getting to the point where I am no longer terrified to make decisions. Being a manager is hard, but I believe I am going to be just fine.
- I have been eating (within my calorie limit, mind you) a bunch of crap recently and I have spoken with Jeeves who is going to encourage me and help me get a handle on the sonic caramel sundae addiction I have developed. Seriously I will forgo meals to have enough left at the end of the day to drive up to sonic and inhale a caramel sundae. Now, I know that it's not terrible to have some ice cream every once in a while but this has gotten out of hand. So I bought a dry erase boardthat fits on the back of the visor in the car. I wrote, "Ice cream will make you fat, Nellie" on the back of it and last night I did not have a sundae, I ate a skinny cow ice cream sandwich, drank some water and finished the day well under my new 1800 calorie limit.
-Amazingly the new calorie increase has not helped my lethargy. Well, it's really not that amazing, if you know my secret. 
-Tonight I am making the munches some pumpkin-zucchini pancakes, which are super yummy, and taste like dessert in spite of the fact that they have a crap ton of veggies hidden in them, (Thank you Jessica Seinfeld!)
- Jeeves and I went out on a date last night, We went for dinner at TGIFriday's and then to the Lifeway bookstore. It was a fun date and I found several bargain priced books to keep my personal development going. I've sort of decided that as I read non-fiction, personal growth type books, I am going to discuss them here. I feel like being healthy is not just about the food you eat, or the way your body looks, but also about your heart and mind feeling healthy as well. So be prepared for my grown up book reports pretty soon.
- Oh? Did you want to know my secret? Check out my new page at the top of the blog called Baking, you'll figure it out...



Quick Poll: When you have hurt someone's feelings should you:

A: Defend what you've said, explain your position and give reasons why they should not be so sensitive?
B: Apologize for being hurtful to someone you care about and when everyone is calmer have a conversation about how it could be avoided in the future.


Let's Talk Tacos

I -love- tacos. Real tacos, Taco bell tacos, my Midwest-white-girl-homemade tacos. MMM-mmmm, love me some tacos. Which brings to my major dieting lamentation. Taco shells are like diet kryptonite. Soft or hard shells are both equally awful. I've found a 100 calorie flat-bread substitute, but (unless I'm drunk or have decided not to care about the difference), it's like eating taco fixin's inside a thin sheet of wet cardboard. I need to find an economical taco shell substitute to enjoy my taco awesome. I have this great idea for grinding up veggies and adding taco seasoning to replace the meat and and if it worked and I could find a lo-cal taco shell, I'd have a way to satisfy my taco desires without adding tonnage to my tush.Somebody help a girl out.

Okay, moving on.

I'm having a skinny latte for breakfast since the thought of solid food made me feel a bit seasick this morning. When I have a cold, solid food makes me a little green. So, did I mention I have a cold,(no really, it sucks) the symtoms of which, I'm trying to manage without internal medications. So Vicks, saline spray, and cough drops are the only comforts I have, well, and my daughters' super awesome elephant humidifier. I hate that feeling when you wake up in the middle of the night and your mouth is so dry that your tongue sticks to itself and you feel like Jim Carrey in Me, Myself and Irene.

Ele the Phunt helps with that, blowing a stream of water mist over my bed to help keep me from dreaming about empty cups and broken straws. (for serious, this a reoccurring nightmare when I'm sick. I'm so thirsty and there are cups everywhere but most are empty and the ones that aren't have broken straws.)

I need to clean my house tonight, but I doubt it will happen, I'll probably just make some chicken soup and lay on the couch feeling miserable. But, I have the munches who will bring me bottles of water and a new book to read ( I love you Jennifer Wiener!) so it's not all bad.
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